The Way We Were
by OverTheStars87
Summary: Ginny always knew that Ron was her favorite brother. The way he was understanding and funloving. But she never thought that her feelings would, or ever could, run any deeper than they were meant to. Implied and eventual incest.
1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

**A/N:** Alright... this is my first ever Ron/Ginny fic ever. I guess that I was an "implied/actual incest writing" virgin before this. I was messing around on last night at around one a.m. when I decided to read some R/G fics. And then I thought, "Hey, I think I'll write some of this."  
Yes... that was the entire thought and creative process. I like the manga "Angel Santuary"... it'smore or lessthe same idea... Okay, not really, but whatever. It's _my_ crazed thought process.  
Any who: I'm not sure how long I'm going to make this. Not very long; no more than five parts, probably. If you could read/review, that'd be super fantastic.

* * *

Do you remember when we were little? We used to play house all the time; I the wife... you the husband... naturally. I'd have a pair of mom's shoes on, tripping around the garden, trying to make dinner before you got home.  
You'd walk through the door, Dad's old hat on your head and tie around your neck.  
A kiss on the cheek, then lend a helping hand. And we'd sit at the table and you talk about work and I'd tell you the latest bit of gossip Ms. Shelly, my stuffed unicorn, had passed on to me.  
And you would look up from your empty plate and tell me it looked delicious. And I'd feel so proud and smile back. And I knew that when I grew up, I'd want my husband to be as great a boy as you.

_God... I didn't think that someday it would be more literal than an innocent, harmless thought of a little girl who looked up to her big brother._

The years went by, and you decided that playing house wasn't the cool thing to do. You'd fly around the backyard with all my other brothers on your broomstick, smiling and laughing.  
And I'd still be in the garden, having tea with a ratty Ms. Shelly. But after a while, her stories faded, until she stopped coming to visit one day.  
But I'd always put a plate on that little table, just for you. Just in case you decided to come back, even if it was only for one day.

_And I still hoped with all my heart that I could end up with a boy who treated me the way you did._

But when Fred and George went to school, we were best friends again. There were long afternoons of running through the woods, looking for fairies and birds.  
You were the first to teach me how to ride a broom. And my heart swelled when you looked with pride and love as I held onto the rough wooden handle, not falling off, eyes wide open.  
And on those warm evenings, we'd lay in the meadow beside the forest staring at the onyx sky dotted with white, hoping to see a shooting star at the same time. Another way to deepen our already unbreakable bond.  
And I knew that you were my favorite brother.

_I just wish you and I could have realized how deep our sibling love ran in our veins back then. Maybe it would have made everything easier._

And then you were gone, and I was left at the Burrow with no one to play with; no one to talk to. I wandered through the trees, reminiscing about the way we were.  
The way you'd sit on the foot of my bed, both of us in our pajamas, playing a game of Exploding Snap until Mum yelled at us to go to sleep.  
The way you'd wipe the tears away from my eyes when I fell off my broomstick.  
The way you laughed at the garden gnomes that I managed to grab and dress up for our family.  
I slept in your bed a lot; I'd creep up the stairs after Mum and Dad were asleep. In one of your shirts, I'd press my face in the pillow, it's familiar smell bringing back memories of when we were best friends with out a care in the world.  
I walked the same paths we did. Always hoping that you would be just around the next corner. Knowing you never would be.

_I knew that I needed you back then, too. But no one else did. No one was able to tell me what I was feeling. No one was able to explain if it was right or wrong._

And when you came home that first summer... I knew something had changed between us.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

I'd missed you so much. The many months of looking at that empty room were over; we could go back to being best friends again.  
I was so young and naive.  
When you came home, you were filled with stories of adventures with your new friends. That first night back, you stayed in my room for hours retelling them to me. I was so glad to have you back, I didn't care if I hated hearing them over and over. And then you thanked me for listening, gave me a kiss goodnight, and went to bed.

_And I found myself wishing the kiss had lasted longer. I found myself not wanting to ever let you go. I found myself crying; scared, confused and alone._

There wasn't any time to go in the woods or play games. There was letter writing and owl sending.  
I asked questions about Harry, loving the missed sound of your voice, even if I was jealous of him. And then you brought him home... I was so surprised.  
You were always with him. All I could do was sit and watch from the window as he stole the only person I loved being with from me.

_I was so young... I was too young to know or want anything. Too young to even know what I was really feeling._

That entire first year at Hogwarts was awful; filled with jealousy and anger at Harry and Hermione. You were _my _brother. You were _my_ best friend first. How dare they come and mess that up.  
The year of the diary. Such a simple tool. I had no one else to talk to. No one I could share all these confusing thoughts about what I was feeling with. I tried to direct them at Harry, but it was to no avail. His eyes, his hair... it was wrong; it wasn't yours.  
I'd pour my soul into that book for hours at a time, changing your name to his. Tom didn't know who you were, but I was so worried someone would figure out how to read it.  
And in return I was possessed. I was freed of those emotions and the fear that came with them. And I loved it. But then I realized what it was doing to me, and I threw the diary away. My only friend a secret keeper.  
I almost died in that Chamber. I woke up in an inch of sludge, in Harry's arms as he was dying himself. God, I how I'd wished it were you instead. When we got back to the entrance, I was so glad to be in your arms; I never wanted to let go.

_Even these days, I find myself wishing that I had been killed in the Chamber; that Tom had sucked everything out of me. All the pain and the heartache never existing would have been bliss. But the thought of you kept me holding on. The thought of you._

My second year was more bearable than the first. I managed to blend in with all the other student, but there was still no one I could talk to.  
My dreams were filled with images of you. I'd watch as you laughed and joked with your friends, wishing I could join in and be near. My days were filled with dread. I felt eyes on me all the time. I kept thinking that they knew my awful secret. That they knew it and were disgusted by me.  
I spent a lot of time in the library alone, or wandering the grounds... even if it happened to be raining or snowing.  
I remember the falling out you and Hermione had. I secretly cheered whenever you shunned her. It was one less person I had to compete with to get my best friend back.  
But I could see that under all that anger, there was sadness. I hate to see you sad; to see you in any sort of pain tears my heart into pieces.  
But what hurt more was that I knew what the sadness was for. It wasn't just a friend you were losing; you were losing a new love. You didn't know that, but I did.  
And again I tried to push all my thoughts of love on the idea of hair. And I cried in the darkness of unused corridors and closets.  
And then you were taken by Sirius Black, and we found out your rat some sort of killer. I cried even harder. You were always putting yourself in danger. Always thinking of the ones you loved before you thought of yourself. Ever since you were little.

_I was still one of those. I was still loved by you. It was a thought I clung to hungrily. The one thought I was able to build on._

And again... another year brought about another change.


	3. Chapter 3

The Dark Mark flashed above the campground with an eerie green glow, people running and screaming all around us. Fred grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the trees, you and everyone else close behind. My legs ached and my chest burned, but I kept going, fear overriding anything else. Finally, we came to a stop, Fred and George both panting beside me. I turned around, only to find empty night air.

I had never been so scared in my entire life. You were always doing that to me. Always making me worry.

_I could never bear the thought of losing you. It made me nauseous just to think about it. I don't know if it was the thought of not having you there that terrified me, or the thought that I would never know if you felt the same way about me that I did you._

When school started back up, I began to notice something. There were boys looking at me. From across tables, or in the corridors, or in the classrooms. I only really knew one other girl, Hermione, so it was to her that I had to go to help.

And there I found out that they were all looking at me with a new agenda. An agenda I'd been planning for us. And a scheme slowly began to form in my mind.

I gave up on trying have any sort of feelings for Harry. It would never work. Besides, he was too busy fawning over Cho. I told Hermione that I was giving up. She said that maybe it was for the best.

_I never wanted to give up. I hated the notion that we could never be what I wanted us to. I was only 13; too childlike and unfinished to know love, let alone know and lose it. _

The Triwizard Tournament. It was perhaps the first good thing that had ever happened to me. When Harry's name was plucked from the sparks, and the deathly silence filled the Great Hall, I could see it in your eyes: the confusion... the hurt.

Everyone at Hogwarts knew about that row the two of you had. How could they not? You pushed him away. You dug yourself into a hole with the betrayal you felt. And I was there. I was there to help you through it.

_I was so deliriously happy. We could go back. We could go back to the time when it was just you and me. _

We talked. We talked like we had when we were young. We'd laugh like we did when we ran through the flowered meadows as children. We returned to guessing each others thoughts and finishing sentences. I could feel that bond we once shared begin to strengthen again.

There that was one night... one night...

The night before the first task, you and I lay by the pond - because you were still afraid of the Forest - looking up at the twinkling night sky. The air moist with a misty fog that seemed to cling to the words we whispered to each other.

I don't remember what you were talking about. All I was listening to was the music of your voice; my heart keeping time with it's rhythm.

A breeze came off the water suddenly, pulling goose bumps from my damp skin. I shivered and instinctively huddled next to you, not thinking about it. My body tensed at the thought of what you would do next. But you didn't push me away, or yell at me; you put your arm around me and pulled me closer.

_Oh god, how my heart sang at that small gesture. I let my imagination run wild at all the prospects that simple act could ever lead to. _

And we lay there for hours without talking; the bond we had recently reconnected allowed us to be comfortable with silence. Your arm stayed around my shoulders all that time, as the moon sunk below the trees and the darkness grew.

My heart beat faster and faster, each swell feeding the forbidden desire that consumed my thoughts.

Finally, at some nameless hour, in the seemingly endless night, I found the courage to tell you. My heart pushed at the back of my throat as I whispered all things that burned within. The words poured out, more than I thought I was capable of holding. Tears - a mixture of relief and fear - escaped from my eyes.

I pushed up myself up on my elbow and saw that your eyes were closed and your breathing easy and shallow. You're even more gorgeous when your sleeping. I raised my hand to brush the hair from your face, to wake you gently and pour my heart out once again.

But before I had a chance to wake you, you rolled over and murmured, still fast asleep.

You murmured a name.

You murmured _her_ name.

I woke you with a tap on the shoulder and we went back to the common room. Luckily it was dark, and you couldn't see the tears that wore grooves in my cheeks. I rushed into my dormitory without a good night before you could see them.

_The pain was almost too much too bear. The dull ache in my chest was unrelenting. That night wasn't the first or last time I cried myself to sleep over you. It didn't last long, though..._

Of course, you made up with Harry at the First Task. Best friends til the end, they say. It was stupid misunderstanding, a boy thing. And once again you, Harry, and Hermione were the Golden Trio.

It made me _sick_. There were times when disgust pushed at the back of my throat when I saw you three together, and I would retch.

Had they been by your side under any circumstances, despite how idiotic they were? _No._ Did they know the little things about you that made you special? _No._ Did their hearts burn the way mine did when they saw you? _No. _Then they had no right to have the titles of your best friends.

The tears I had cried so many nights were forgotten. The sadness I'd felt was long gone. They were both replaced with an anger that welled inside of me, stoked by the sight of them. It became harder and harder each day to act as though I tolerated, let alone _enjoyed_, their company.To act as though I was still quiet and shy and unthreatening.

I deserved a muggle Oscar.

The Yule Ball was fast approaching. I knew I had to go. I had to get there somehow. I'd be so gorgeous, so stunning, you'd know right then and there that you wanted me the way I did you.

Neville went around asking every girl that stood still long enough. But everyone had a date from the moment the Ball was announced. I got my chance when he finally asked Hermione, but she was already going with that fool, Krum. I offered to go.

And so the date was set.


End file.
